Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.