Being in the hospice didn't work out exactly the way I had expected. By all rights, I should have finished my time here in mid-March 2006 - at least, that's when Medicare stopped paying.
More Quotes by Art Buchwald
Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.
This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.
Becoming eighty is a matter of life or death. I chose life. It is a much better position to be in, and it's easier on your back.
The Marine Corps was the first father figure I had ever known.
I was put on earth to make people laugh.
I worship the quicksand he walks in.