This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.

Becoming eighty is a matter of life or death. I chose life. It is a much better position to be in, and it's easier on your back.

The Marine Corps was the first father figure I had ever known.

I was put on earth to make people laugh.

I worship the quicksand he walks in.

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.