So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around.
More Quotes by Art Buchwald
Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.
This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.
Becoming eighty is a matter of life or death. I chose life. It is a much better position to be in, and it's easier on your back.
The Marine Corps was the first father figure I had ever known.
I was put on earth to make people laugh.
I worship the quicksand he walks in.