Marshall Goldsmith

Remember that when criticism is difficult to accept, there is probably some truth to it.

Active questions are the alternative to passive questions. There is a huge difference between, 'Do you have clear goals?' and 'Did you do your best to set clear goals for yourself?' The former is trying to determine the employee's state of mind; the latter challenges the employee to describe or defend a course of action.

Put your goals on paper, or an Excel spreadsheet. Measure every day, 'Did I do my best to...?' Your problems won't disappear, but you will exist in a different relation to them, and you will improve.

To me, the #1 key to success is 'creating lasting positive change in yourself and others.' That is what is most rare, most difficult, and most valuable about leading people.

If we can sacrifice something comfortable, that we're 'too good at,' that might even be holding us back, we'll have more room to grow into the person we want to be.

I regard gratitude as an asset and its absence a major interpersonal flaw.

An excuse is the handy explanation we offer when we disappoint other people.

We deify willpower and self-control - and mock its absence. People who achieve through remarkable willpower are 'strong' and 'heroic.' People who need help or structure are 'weak.' This is crazy - because few of us can accurately gauge or predict our willpower.

If we really want to make change, we have to make peace with the fact that we cannot self-exempt every time the calendar offers us a more attractive alternative.

Be happy now. It's a great Western disease that we'll be happy in the future - when we get higher status or that BMW or that promotion or this project finished. Instead, be happy now.

Life is short. Do whatever you can to help people - not for status, but because the 95-year-old you will be proud if you did help people and disappointed if you didn't.

When we stop thinking about ourselves, when we stop being so devoted to 'me,' we can start behaving in a way that actually benefits others!

When you're at the lower levels in the organization, you need to win and be right. But as you move up, you need to let other people win and be right, and become a manager and delegate responsibility.

I was at UCLA when John Wooden was the basketball coach. The next coach was Gene Bartow, who got fired for winning 90 percent plus of his games. He wasn't John Wooden. It's incredibly difficult to replace someone who has been seen as an icon.

The only thing I don't think people don't understand about good leaders is that they're both good and lucky. A lot of it is timing.

It's not appropriate to pass judgment when we specifically ask people to voice their opinions... even if you ask a question and agree with the answer.

Understanding the past is perfectly admissible if your issue is accepting the past. But if your issue is changing the future, understanding will not take you there.

When you say, 'I'm sorry,' you turn people into your allies, even your partners.

Once you get a reputation for emotional volatility, it can take years of model behavior to change how others see you.

My job is to show my clients that their anger is rarely someone else's fault. It's their flaw.

One of the greatest mistakes of successful people is the assumption, 'I behave this way, and I achieve results. Therefore, I must be achieving results because I behave this way.' This belief is sometimes true, but not across the board.

It can be more productive to help people learn to be 'right' than prove they were 'wrong.'

I do three things: speaking or teaching, which I enjoy the most, coaching is where I learn everything, and writing is where I reach people.

The last thing I say on most phone calls is not, 'Goodbye,' but, 'Thank you.'

The people I coach are very successful people, so it's very hard for winners to not constantly win. Even if it's trivial and not worth it, we still want to win - because we love winning. It's a very deep habit.