Marshall Goldsmith

All of us have people in our lives who drive us crazy. We've spent hours reliving the unfair, unappreciative, inconsiderate treatment they have inflicted on us. But getting mad at this person makes just about as much sense as getting mad at a chair for being a chair.

When we prolong negative behavior - the kind that hurts the people we love or the kind that hurts us in some way - we are leading a changeless life in the most hazardous manner. We are willfully choosing to be miserable and making others miserable, too.

I have a lot of deficiencies, but gratitude is not one of them.

Gratitude is not a limited resource, nor is it costly. It is abundant as air. We breathe it in but forget to exhale.

Coaching works best with high potential people who are willing to make a concerted effort to change, not as a religious conversion activity.

A leader who is self-aware enough to know that he or she is not adept at everything is one who has taken the first step toward being a great leader.

In one of the largest studies ever done on the effects of executive coaching - over 70,000 respondents - we learned that the biggest mistake coaches make is in not following up. It didn't matter who the coach was or what method they used. Failing to follow up made any approach to coaching ineffective.

Our inner beliefs trigger failure before it happens. They sabotage lasting change by canceling its possibility. We employ these beliefs as articles of faith to justify our inaction and then wish away the result. I call them belief triggers.

One of the most important actions, things a leader can do, is to lead by example. If you want everyone else to be passionate, committed, dedicated, and motivated, you go first!

Americans get fatter and fatter and buy more and more diet books, but you don't lose weight by buying diet books - you go on a diet. It's easy to read a diet book, but it's hard to go on a diet.

In our world, we have this huge focus on vicarious living - politicians, movie stars, athletes, coaches, all these people. What our research has shown very clearly is that people who are really happier and have more meaningful lives are people that focus on living their own lives.

As I've gotten older, I've gotten simpler - my level of aspiration has actually gone down and down. But my level of impact has gone up and up.

People that have integrity violations should be fired, not coached. How many integrity violations does it take to ruin the reputation of your company? Just one. You don't coach integrity violations. You fire them.

If somebody is going in the wrong direction, behavioral coaching just helps them get there faster. It doesn't turn the wrong direction into the right direction.

If the CEO is not going to give you a fair chance, you're probably not going to win.

If we become aware of what's happening before we act, behaviour becomes a function of choice rather than a result of an impulse or trigger. You begin to control your world more as opposed to the outside world controlling you.

I don't get paid if my clients don't get better by a certain time period. And sure, I have not been paid before. We all fail sometimes; it's okay.

One of the most dysfunctional beliefs of successful people is our contempt for simplicity and structure. We believe that we are above needing structure to help us on seemingly simple tasks.

When we presume that we are better than people who need structure and guidance, we lack one of the most crucial ingredients for change: humility.