Greg Gutfeld

I spent my teens in northern California listening to KALX, KUSF, and KFJC, finding people that changed my life.

Do you ever see a right-wing kid violently jumping lefty speakers? On campus, you either have silent appeasement or a bruise.

The federal government is enormous; it never shrinks. And the interest is killing us.

What a contrast, Trump is feisty but flexible. Obama, cool but rigid. But he had no reason to bend. The media already bought into his shtick. His giddy fan base ate up every white-coated lie.

ObamaCare was a lemon, but the media were his lemonheads.

The modern progressive movement believes that dissenting language is objectionable, which then removes the brakes between anger and violence.

Language turned apes like us into civil creatures.

By silencing speech, the new Left makes life more dangerous by leaving violence as the only option. Maybe that's what they want.

Here is the problem with legacy: You'll sacrifice stuff that is not even yours to get it. Take President Obama's Iran deal, when he gave the shirt off his back - and ours, too.

An actual scientist embraces debate because it sharpens their research.

Human evolution relies on cooperation, which is why identity politics feels so backward.

Social justice warriors want to return to the Dark Ages when you communicated with a club instead of joining one.

Back in the days of world wars, American companies didn't think twice about pitching in to help fight the enemy. Car companies helped bolster tanks, food companies created rations - sometimes they had to do it, but no one had to twist their arm.

Here is a fact: If Facebook were a religion, it will be the third largest behind Islam and Christianity. Its success is rooted and capitalizing on the human desire to bond.

Travel like a pro, not like a hobo. That's my motto.

2017 may have been that year when identity politics hit a brick wall - and slumped limply on the pavement.

Identity politics preaches a splintering of one large, collaborative group into competing vindictive ones - resulting in new, angry tribes whose central thesis is to not cooperate.

In the American 'melting pot,' identity politics wants to smash that pot - to bring us back to the Dark Ages, when collaboration was sparse.

In the absurd idiocy of identity regressive politics, looting is seen as protest, and protecting one's own property is seen as privilege.

I've done two shows every day for years, but I don't think I could work on just one show a week. I would go crazy, and I would drive everybody nuts. I've got to feel like I'm under pressure.

I don't think Trevor Noah got his job by being a conservative.

I hate 'Rolling Stone' - because I loved it so much. I had the 'Cheap Tricks' cover and the Clash cover on my wall for years, and I just hate what happened to it. It just became the smarmy grad student that sits next to you on the bus.

It takes a special, selfless person to make music that accommodates the universal need for mindless escapism - or what I call oblivion.

It's not misogynistic to criticize a legendary female pop singer; it's misogynistic to think a legendary female pop singer can't handle it.

Generally, I don't bother trying to keep up with prolific bands - but Thee Oh Sees demand it.

The bands I like are not obscure at all. Far from it.

My first concert - maybe it was 1979 - was a blur. I'm not sure whether it was Blue Oyster Cult/Cheap Trick/Pat Travers at San Jose Civic Auditorium or The Police/The Knack/Robert Johnson at Berkeley's Zellerbach Auditorium.

Trump has manufactured the first-ever Celebrity Immunity Bubble - rendering him incapable of offense, no matter whom he offends. It's brilliant.

I don't care much for Hillary Clinton.

Obama was never that bad or that great, and the same is probably going to go for Trump.

How odd that the proponents of free expression think 'free' only applies to them.

No one wants a lecture when you're getting a latte. So if you get one without asking, isn't that grounds for some discipline?

I'm used to the Right being singled out by the entertainers.

True, the country is divided, but it's not Right and Left. It's Left and Not Left. It is because, for liberals, politics is personal and therefore extremely loud. For the rest of us, we prefer community over calamity.

Most Americans don't shout their politics, much less blast it from their TVs while serving you fried pickles - that's the Left.

Infected by political ideology, if you dare question climate models, your career is done.

A troll's life is a no-physical-contact existence. You will die alone, as you die daily, online.

We are all better served by objectively diagnosing trolls so they can change.

The good and bad thing about online trolling: it's not on the street, and it's not on the street! The good: nothing physical erupts; the bad: there are no brakes to stop it.

Work together. Do not purge your allies because of purity.

'Sol Invictus' works like your basic FNM record: the sequencing is an artful job, hustling you politely through all the gentle, harsh, weird surprises that follow - and then when it's over, you get back on the ride and start over, just like Space Mountain.

Ariel Pink would be a regular on the Mike Douglas Show. Both a master songwriter and a charismatic figure, he'd wander the set like a cherubic, more likable Jim Morrison. His songs would be all over KFRC - the way Boz Scaggs ruled for one summer with 'Silk Degrees.'

At a certain point, we need to figure out how to reward those who choose a path that offers, often, almost no reward.

The girls I dated liked or disliked me, whether I weighed 140 or 150; and six-pack abs had no relevance on their love or repulsion.

If you can have a skewed sense of your body, it stands to reason you could develop the same kind of thing about your relationships with others in a social network.

Thanks to an immersive lifestyle that involves Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, we've created a psychological three-sided mirror for our social impact on others.

FNM didn't really become one of my favorite all-time bands until after I'd had all their records for a couple of years. And realized I was playing them every day.

I realize Twitter can be good, providing a video game of creativity for your brain.

Creating a fan base of both fervent feelers and fanboys, Trump magnificently played off many fawning commentator's insecurities - using the deep desire to be liked or noticed by Trump as a method to keep their criticism of him tamped down.

Wherever socialism spread, misery followed - and still follows.