Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
More Quotes by W. C. Fields
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
I like children - fried.
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.