A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

More Quotes by W. C. Fields

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I like children - fried.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.