You take away all the other luxuries in life, and if you can make someone smile and laugh, you have given the most special gift: happiness.

Athletics are not my wheelhouse because sports were mean to this uncoordinated kid growing up, a 6-foot-2 14-year-old who never could do a layup.

I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian.

It's all I have left in my life, caffeine and a poodle.

Humor is healing.

It's fun to play people who are flawed.