Tracy Morgan

My father was the role model I looked up to. My dad was an entertainer, too. I patterned my life after him. He wanted me to do better than he did. He never sold a record in his life, but to me, he was still a rock star.

I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

I don't get on the phone and prank people and things like that on the phone with people, no.

I love working with Alec Baldwin. He's one of the five greatest actors ever to live.

If she's not spoken for, and you come at her correctly, like a man, she'll get with you.

The sexiest part of a woman's body is the back of her kneecaps.

There's nothing wrong with looking at a woman's kneecaps.

What you have to understand is that my thing is not glamour. I love stretch marks and C-section scars and all of that. I'm a grown man. You don't gotta put on no makeup with me.

The further you go, what, I'm gonna wait til I'm 80? Naw, I'm tellin' my story now. I was just moved. I was moved to tell my story. You know? People write books all the time.

I've gone through my trials and tribulations, and sure, it's gotten bumpy and all that, but I'm here. OK?

I know how people are. We fixate on controversy and all that.

Cool is the enemy of funny. You can't be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that.

Welcome to post-racial America. I'm the face of post-racial America.

There's ups and downs of any job. If you worked at the post office, there's ups and downs. You have your good days, and you have your bad days. If you're a housewife, you have your good days, and you have your bad days.

'Saturday Night Live' was the joy of my life.

For my first gig, I got $75. I could make money being funny, so I pursued it as a career and have turned it into a lucrative business.

When Richard Pryor did comedy, it was like he was having a conversation.

Comedy should be easy, not laboured.

If I gamble, I'll play roulette. My wife and I will play roulette, and that's about it. I'm not a heavy gambler.

The only person who knows what's in my wallet is my wife.

The most romantic thing I ever did to my woman? I painted her toenails!

I'm a black man in America, so I'm going to be misunderstood.

I don't control the line of 'funny,' 'funny,' 'funny,' 'not funny.'

I have a heart. I want people to see me with their heart and not their eyes.

Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day.

I just want to be funny, I just want to do comedy.

I don't need no stool and mike stand. I don't need all of that to be funny. I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me. I spread love wherever I'm at. I'm like Marvin Gaye.