Norman Wisdom

It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.

I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about.

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.

In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go till November, but the pantomime was booked so they transferred the show to the Prince of Wales Theatre because it was so packed out, and it ran on from there.

Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than you'd ever expect, hundreds of years in fact, because there's many of them, all over the world.

I'm still constantly thinking of ideas. I don't feel 90. I think I'm about 12.

I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh.

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you can rely on to stay the same.

I used to first go on to entertain an audience. But now I go, and this is really true - I go on to have fun with a crowd of my chums.

It was smashing working with Jerry Desmonde, he was a very nice chap.

I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of fourteen.

There are people who like just ordinary comedy fun, and making mistakes - which I do easily - and then there are people who like the falling over.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

My father used to be away for months at a time, and he'd never leave any money for food, so my brother and I had to go out and nick it.

I believe in physical comedy, because that reaches out most to people.

I have a folder where I keep all the articles the critics have written about me. It makes me feel good.

My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place.

Most of my comedies were low on budgets - certainly by American standards.

Don't get me wrong: I'm overjoyed with my career to date. But perhaps I could have done more. Mostly, I just did whatever the directors told me to do.

I've been making people laugh for 40 years, so I know how important it is!

I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get people to listen to you because they like to put their own ideas forward.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

I owe everything to the army.

I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to be dead tired when I got home at night.