A. P. Herbert

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.

Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.

I am sure that the party system is right and necessary. There must be some scum.

A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.

This high official, all allow, is grossly overpaid; there wasn't any Board, and now there isn't any Trade.

If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth.

The Englishman never enjoys himself except for a noble purpose.

The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.