Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.

If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.

My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.

I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.