I don't eat huge amounts, I'm just very lazy. But then this story appeared about me being on a diet and several weeks later I was snapped on holiday with my ''new physique'' on display, which was basically my old physique under a baggy T-shirt. I hadn't been on any diet. But I felt I had to live up to it.
More Quotes by Michael McIntyre
I've got some Jewish ancestry and I don't like waste.
I don't know how it is with other people's relationships, but my wife is always much more tired than me because she works much harder looking after the children, which is an endless battle - a lot of it is battling with them to stop battling with each other.
One of the positives of getting older is that you forget your age. Then you find out that you're younger than you thought you were.
Maybe people just can't cope with how jovial I am.
I don't watch any other comedy, I don't study stand-up as an art.
I like the stage lights to be bright so I can't see people because I will inevitably only see the ones who aren't laughing.