I'm a massive Steven Seagal fan. I know his movies are horrible, but I've watched all of them over and over again. I'd want to do a movie with him and Van Damme.

More Quotes by Judah Friedlander

As the World Champion, every day is pretty much like Valentine's Day for me - as far as hooking up with the ladies.

Valentine's Day is definitely one of those days where it's either awesome or it's a downer.

It wasn't like I just woke up and said, 'Here's my gimmick; I'll wear a hat and put something weird on it.'

I am the greatest marital artist in the world.

As a comedian, I think you need to keep things real.

Let's say there was a fat guy heckling me. I would rip him to shreds, but I would never go for the obvious, never talk about how he's fat or anything.