I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.