I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.

I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.