The Internet gave us access to everything; but it also gave everything access to us.

The marooned friend is one of the best-known scams, principally because it's the one that dodges the spam filter most often. It comes from someone you know but often only tangentially. It's since become - hands down - one of my favourite scams.

I know some people whose father has basically spent their whole inheritance on scammers. He's old; he wants to feel important, like he's doing business, so he goes to his bank and pays out - it's terrifying.

Most scams are absurd - so absurd that one wonders how anyone falls for them at all; yet if no one falls for them, how do the scammers make money?

Don't get me wrong - I don't want to be mean to the scammers. There are lots of people online who do that. I'm content merely having fun inventing, and I figure any time they're spending with me is time in which they're not scamming vulnerable adults out of their savings.

I think of the spam folder not as Pandora's box but as a costume shop in which you can play and play at being whoever and whatever you wish. If only for a time.