Children are brutal and have no malice, which makes everything they say horribly cutting.

More Quotes by Iain Stirling

My stuff is observational, what people do with their lives from the angle of a man that can't pull it off. So if I talk about having a family, it would be through the medium of a man who is in no fit state to be given a child to look after.

I guess the argument is you chose to be in the public eye and, therefore, you're giving your life up for a certain level of scrutiny and you've got to accept that. The trade-off between being on 'Love Island' and not being on 'Love Island' is very skewed into the positive.

I just feel like 'Love Island' is like a fantasy TV show. We're showing our, sort of, in my opinion, a comedy ideal of what paradise is like.

I used to be on a live show with Caroline Flack, and I think I only got on that because I was a comic in Spain and ended up getting on well with her.

I get recognised on the phone because it's harder to cover up your voice than your head. You can put a hat on or something, but I can't do accents.

But with voice-over on a reality TV show, I think I'm pretty up there, maybe one of the best. It's a confidence boost, which helps my stand-up because I'll try more interesting stuff.