Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
More Quotes by Dennis Miller
I rant, therefore I am.
There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.
Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.
Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?
Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.