What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.
More Quotes by Dennis Miller
I rant, therefore I am.
There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.
Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.
Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?
Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.