My history teacher could make us feel like he was imparting rare gossip to us when he was talking about Maria Theresa and the Habsburgs. I just loved that sense of - the Western canon is here, and it's gossipy and tawdry, and everyone is sort of goofy.

More Quotes by Daniel Mallory Ortberg

I attended an evangelical Christian university on the outskirts of suburban Los Angeles and by the time of my graduation was neither evangelical nor Christian.

Everyone wants to be liked; everyone wants approval. No one likes being ignored.

A lot of my creative energy is spent coming up with a concept that, once I get it, I feel like it writes itself.

It's an unfortunate reality of life that toxins are constantly building up in our bodies.

I read my first P.G. Wodehouse when I was 12.

I spent the first 22 years of my life absorbing everything, like a big disgusting cell, and now I'm disgorging it with jokes added out into the world. That's a really gross metaphor.