Anything I say about women, I try to make sure that at least five or six friends of mine are going through a similar situation. That way I'm not picking on my wife.
More Quotes by Chris Rock
You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
A man is only as faithful as his options.
Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.
When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.