I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
More Quotes by Artie Lange
The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once you're laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what I'm saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs.