I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
More Quotes by Andy Rooney
Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.