You know what they call the fellow who finishes last in his medical school graduating class? They call him 'Doctor.'

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody.

It was a hole in one contest and I had a three.

I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick.