I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.

A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a lawyer.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

Harry S. Truman had his moods. His birthplace is the only tourist attraction in America where you don't see Japanese with cameras.

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.