Zach Galifianakis

Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.

My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.

There was a long time where I was an 'artist' in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.

The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that's totally wiped out; I don't think it really exists anymore.

I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.