Will Cuppy

Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.

The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.

Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.

The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.

Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.

Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.

Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home. There's always something.

If an animal does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

It's easy to see the faults in people I know; it's hardest to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.

If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

I don't like to boast, but I have probably skipped more poetry than any other person of my age and weight in this country.