Tucker Max

Usually, whatever people's particular political leaning is, they either think I'm just like them or the opposite.

No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.

I think that there's a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there's not being much written for them.

A personal brand is relevant to people who sell or create something relevant to who they are as a person. If you're not in that boat, which most people are not, personal branding makes no sense.

Social media for the majority of companies is not about helping customers or improving products.

Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.

Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer.

General reader feedback is usually pretty worthless. 99% of people give feedback that is irrelevant, stupid, or just flat out wrong. But that 1% of people who give good feedback are invaluable.

There is always more demand for great content then there will be great content to satisfy it.

I'm a decent-looking guy, but I've never walked into a room and got a girl because of how I looked. Look, I'm never excluded because of my looks. I just don't stand out.

I don't even pursue girls anymore. I mean, I could obviously still pursue girls. It's not like I can't. But I don't have to pursue girls anymore. Girls come to me.

You know, even big-time academics kind of have groupies. Anyone with any sort of fame. So, like, in your micro-world, or in your niche, you're kind of like a celebrity.

Women always want the guy that other women want.

The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't.

I'm not West Coast at all. I was born in Atlanta, but I grew up in Kentucky, outside of Lexington, in Winchester.

I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there.

The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me.

When I give speeches at college, I don't tell stories, I talk about what it is to live your dreams and take the path less traveled.

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.

Obviously, I love Japanese food. My favorite TV show of all time, without exception, is 'Iron Chef.' Not the stupid American version; 'Iron Chef' Japanese; the real one, the one that was on in Japan... my DVR for years was set to record almost every single 'Iron Chef' episode.

I think I just pick really smart and motivated people to work with - people who are probably going to do great things anyway - and I just teach them what I know, maybe teach them how to think a little clearer than they did before, and then off they go.

Think about it: If you don't have any actual, tangible skills, then how can you do anything? You may be laughing and nodding, but do you realize how few people, when asked the basic question, 'What can you do?' stumble on the answer and have nothing to say? Most people.

If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.

At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.

If you like to argue just for the sake of being contentious, you shouldn't pick a job based on this unresolved emotional issue of yours, you should get counseling for it.

Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse.

Having a soft major is nowhere near the career death sentence that so many make it out to be. The world is changing, and the U.S. economy with it. Our economy is shifting to a service- and information-based economy, and soft majors are already becoming more and more valuable.

Publishing companies are like schoolyard bullies that can't even fight well.

Frankly, I'd rather make a little bit less money if it means living in a better world for books and publishing in the future.

There aren't a whole lot of people in culture that are unapologetically masculine.

The haters always scream the loudest.

Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.

I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy.

I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other.

If your parents ignored you, or if they are just not emotionally available, or if they yell a lot, that is a type of trauma.

Books are so cheap and easy to get that people don't bother stealing them, which is the essential rule of piracy that the music business learned much too late.

Whatever your favorite food is, if you eat it every day for a month, you're going to get sick of it.

I always laugh when people call me a misogynist. I... love women! Everything I do is to impress women. And if I hated women, why would half my fans be women?

When your buddy tells you a movie is good, that's worth 2,000 commercials.

I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me.

I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did.

Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales.

Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art.

Calling one thing 'literature' and another 'fiction' is a way to create status where there is none.

There is no number or level of success that would make me think, 'Wow, I didn't think that was possible.'

My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about.

I've never really had a media edifice supporting me.

No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog.

The point of psychoanalysis is to really understand the roots of your behavior. Understand why you are doing the things you're doing - and connect your unconscious to your conscious.

I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.