Sean Evans

Boston is one of the country's more insecure cities and see you it in Celtics fans.

The prevailing subtext of every dating book is that beautiful women are surpassingly obtainable, so long as you get over the intimidation that keeps you from approaching them. That's maybe the dumbest advice ever.

It's not easy to embarrass the University of Arkansas. The place is basically a truck stop with a quad.

Bobby Petrino slinks through coaching jobs with the stench and trustworthiness of expired mayonnaise.

No athlete entered 2012 with more and left it with less than Lance Armstrong.

When you consider the depths to which major college football coaches are willing to sink in order to protect their programs, Tyrann Mathieu's dismissal from LSU is staggering.

Bill Walton's on-court style is immortal.

As the flagrant foul's official mascot, Anthony Mason had the genteel refinement of an intentional elbow to the eye socket.

Never underestimate how profoundly marked biceps and defined traps can improve your personal style, particularly if you spend as much time in a sleeveless shirt as Nate Thurmond.

If LeBron James, Phil Mickelson, or Reggie Bush had to rely on personality to make it in this world, they'd all be incredibly athletic rodeo clowns.

Award shows in general are just lame excuses to stroke the egos of millionaires, but the 'ESPY's' are an especially embarrassing example.

If there's one thing Eagles and Giants fans can agree on, it's a mutual disdain for Skip Bayless.

There's something about supposed experts making millions of dollars to bark tired sports cliches that makes our blood boil. And it should.

As a general rule, girls at the gym are not interested in a free power clean lesson from some doofus in a form-fitting Under Armour ensemble.

Heartbreak can be so pathetic.

Prodigal sons like Barack Obama, Kanye West, and Michael Jordan only come back to Chicago to sell their homes.

The pool table, like bathroom graffiti and horrible lighting, is a dive bar staple.

Dive bars rely on a steady stream of neighborhood regulars to keep their doors open.

It doesn't matter how much game you think you have, no nightclub bartender wants to talk to you.

When you decorate with neon beer lights, it's hard to create a class divide. So, the dive bar is an institution that welcomes every kind of person.

If you're curious how Lance Armstrong got away with cheating for 15 years or why Manti Te'o's fake girlfriend went unnoticed for five months, it's because sports reporters are really just starstruck fans, not hardcore journalists.

Title IX is important. Women have made incredible gains in athletics, but does Brittney Griner have a chance in the post against Julius Randle? No.

Contending that top-level, male high school basketball players are better than WNBA all-stars, while blatantly obvious, makes us feel uncomfortable to write.

In an age of political correctness, even the most apparent gender assertions are dismissed as ignorance.

It's amazing how one introductory course in environmental science can turn a 20-year-old into an Biofuels expert.

No future employer is going to comb your college transcript to see how you fared in Microeconomics 300. In fact, you won't even be asked about where you went to school after your first entry level job.

Gamers are horrible roommates because they monopolize the TV with something less watchable than 'The Mob Doctor' and, if that wasn't irritating enough, have the audacity to scream combat commands through a head set.

There's absolutely nothing glamorous about getting old.

Relative to the rest of your life, college isn't all that hard.

Fraternities are bizarre because, as a pledge, some clown who wears Hollister & Co. flip-flops exclusively will make you clean his toilet with a toothbrush.

If you're entering your first year of higher education, then you also need to prepare for an extreme lifestyle change. Your mom's not there to wake you up for school.

The NBA was once a league full of guys who topped out at 5-foot-9, wore belts in their shorts, and reeked of pomade. When it came to dishing the ball there was only one option: the bounce pass. The game's changed a lot since then.

In the late '90s and early 2000s, basketball was more about making your defender look stupid than scoring. Seriously. You could miss every layup, so long as you turned an ankle or buckled a knee.

White dude speed' is the kind of quickness that you see from a guy who's trying to beat the 'Do Not Walk' sign across the street. They're moving but not fast enough to scuff their boat shoes.

Tim Tebow is the kind of unsung hero we can all root for, an underdog who is all too often ignored by the fans and media.

Chicago fans are the most insufferable in all sports.

If you want to be universally loved, forget a career in broadcasting. You can't compliment a team without necessarily dissing their opponent.

Smart people, often times, are miserable people.

The problem with college kids is that they're ignorant to the browbeaten realities of living life in a cubicle and they have nothing but free time to get jacked up on MotherJones.com articles about oil companies.

We've all had classes with a professor so bland and monotone that their lectures sound like Mitt Romney reading 'Paradise Lost' from a blown speaker.

Preparing America's student loan crippled grads to enter a hopeless and crowded job market is no easy task, which is why we should show more love to our nation's professors.

Stadiums are notoriously bad for cell phone reception. Spending the majority of a game trying to post an Instagram'd picture of the field isn't just pitiful, it's damn near hopeless.

Thanks to fantasy football and 'Madden' on Xbox Live there are legions of jersey adorning sports fanatics who think they're equipped to stand on the sideline with a headset.

Once you're past the age of, say, 11, you should stop idolizing athletes. You look ridiculous wearing the jersey of a guy who is younger and wealthier than you are.

The suburban dad is the worst dressed subset in America, which is especially disheartening when you consider the country club's many great style icons.

Before Julius Erving, being a stylish basketball player meant 13 ounces of pomade in your hair and color coordinating the belt in your shorts with your canvas sneakers. Dr. J was a transcendent figure athletically, but he also changed the aesthetics of the sport.

It's not easy to be stylish as a linebacker.

Bjorn Borg has the look of a Scandanavian rock star with the understated charm of a Wes Anderson movie.

Women who are paid to look hot get hit on all the time, so don't roll up on a restaurant hostess with your non-iron Trump Collection shirt and expect anything to pop off.

Attempting to squash your permeating stench of a loser by bum rushing every girl you come across is a bad look.