Patrice O'Neal

Not everybody should be laughing at everything at the same time. That's not even natural. My thing is to feel natural, because I don't want to feel like I could just make people laugh at every single joke, every single time, with the same decibel level.

I am that guy who will say things that people seem to think is a little edgy, a little racy.

I'm a decent cook, and I will try to cook anything. My only weakness is that I don't know servings - I only know how to make a lot.

I'm a big buffet dude, or I'm a big cheap-food-and-order-more-when-I-need-it dude.

I'm a slave to the culture, so I see an Audi, a Denali, or an Escalade, my neighbor got the four-door Porsche. I have a really nice truck. But it's a Durango and I like frontin'! I like to ride by and show off.

I like to be loved or hated - I don't like mediocre. So I'd rather have the entire crowd hate me than to have 90% hate me.

I've still got that little freedom part of me that wants to have a car that looks really sexy.

I need a little bass and I don't even need that crazy bass to break your face. I just want it to sound good when I have my favorite song.

I'm a thigh-meat dude. Thigh is just the best meat - I don't get chicken breast. I think it's a publicity stunt that we've convinced people it's delicious.

I don't go to any sexy places to eat where they give you half a lamb chop and one bean. I like going, 'Uhhh, I'm done' when I eat.

Just making the crowd laugh is not really doing things for me anymore. That's just knowing how to kill; I've learned how to kill - but also learned when a crowd's laughter is meaningful.

Who has connections to Connecticut? That's where rich people go to live the rest of their life in the woods.

The case is I talk for a living, so I should be able to say anything I want to say regardless of how you feel. What we're starting to deal with now is your opinion matters, but to be quite honest, your opinion means nothing.

People have tried to corner the market on being offended, corner the market on language and corner the market on opinion. Should I lose my job 'cause I offended somebody? No, of course not. Your life should never be affected by public opinion.