Pamela Meyer

For the liespotter who knows how to listen well, the random words, sounds, and phrases in a person's speech are never as random as they seem. They offer a clear sightline into the liar's psyche.

Speaking of trust, ever since I wrote this book, 'Liespotting,' no one wants to meet me in person anymore - no, no, no, no, no. They say, 'It's okay. We'll email you.' I can't even get a coffee date at Starbucks. My husband's like, 'Honey, deception? Maybe you could have focused on cooking. How about French cooking?'

Not all lies are harmful. Sometimes we're willing participants in deception for the sake of social dignity, maybe to keep a secret that should be kept secret, secret. We say, 'Nice song.' 'Honey, you don't look fat in that, no.'

Deception can cost billions. Think Enron, Madoff, the mortgage crisis. Or in the case of double agents and traitors, like Robert Hanssen or Aldrich Ames, lies can betray our country. They can compromise our security. They can undermine democracy. They can cause the deaths of those that defend us.

If you're an average married couple, you're going to lie to your spouse in one out of every 10 interactions. Now, you may think that's bad. If you're unmarried, that number drops to three.

A liar often smiles subtly while telling a lie; it's an unconscious expression of his delight in getting away with a whopper.

A good lie detector doesn't jump to conclusions but tries to understand the person across the table, her personality, and her motivations. Your goal as a lie spotter isn't to point the finger and say, 'You're lying' - your goal is to get to the truth.

Cultists do not want to admit they have been manipulated by charisma. Nigerian money scheme victims do not want to accept that they had been swindled. To accept those realities is to accept their own faults. Denial of our own weaknesses is something we all suffer from time to time.

Any normal candidate who mocked the disabled or made crude reference to a woman's menstrual cycle or dabbled in 9/11 conspiracy theories would be out of the race. Trump's fans remain. And wait for more.

Like it or not, we are all liars. Thank goodness. Imagine going through life where everyone is completely honest: 'Those shoes... look like something out of an early Cyndi Lauper video.' 'Your daughter... looks like the spawn of Honey Boo Boo and Elmer Fudd.'

White lies keep social dignity intact and are far more prevalent than most people realize. Several studies have found that an average person is lied to from 10 to 200 times a day - mostly just to keep a conversation going, to avoid conflict, or to establish a connection with someone.

Tell the lie over and over and over. It's an art that Trump understands well. There's no better evidence than his absolutely false claim that he opposed the Iraq War in 2002.

Maybe Trump isn't a racist in private. But he's sure acting like one in public. And his body language is corroborating the evidence.

Tales of cheating on school and college tests are rife. There have been instances where teachers have given students test answers in order to make themselves look good on their performance reviews. Mentors who should be teaching the opposite are sending a message that lying and cheating are acceptable.

Truth-tellers who expect others to believe them tend to speak naturally and un-self-consciously. But if they don't expect to be believed, they may try too hard to seem honest. Unfortunately, the result makes them sound less believable. Obviously, then, not every oddly phrased statement is a lie.

In the split-second before someone prepares to answer a question, he will consciously or subconsciously evaluate what the best possible answer might be. For a truthful person, the best possible answer might omit some information. It might have a few extraneous details. But it will still offer the information requested.

Politicians aren't special. They lie the same way we all do, revealing their true nature under pressure.

Research indicates that a pause tends to be a signal that a cluster of deceptive cues is on its way. This is a key reason why voters routinely associate Trump with authenticity: He rarely pauses.

When a pointed question is beaten back with an attack or threat of, 'How dare you...' it's a reliable signal that deception is involved. Trump is a master at this.

High-stakes lying is out of control. And it's costing us big bucks in one way or another. It's not simply a matter of quantifying losses in dollars. It's costing us emotionally and psychologically as well.

Contempt is the only asymmetrical facial expression, so it's easy to spot once you're aware of its signs. One researcher has successfully tracked it in couples as a predictor of divorce. When someone is angry at you, you've still got traction with them, but when they display contempt, you've been dismissed.

Pummeling an answer out of someone never works. You cannot intimidate someone with aggressive language and think they'll be more forthcoming... that's a caricature of interrogation, part of the TV culture of what it looks like.

Business is a battlefield. You need to be able to go to battle with your team members. Like the military. Know them, trust them, and know who you're working with.

Genuine expressions of emotion rarely persist longer than five seconds and almost never longer than 10. A fixed smile is likely to conceal anger, anxiety, or some other negative emotion.

While it can feel unfair to have to make a career decision because of a morally deficient boss, doing so can sometimes lead you in the right direction, if a bit faster than you otherwise would have preferred.