Joey Diaz

I thought I would be an extra one time in a movie. And I would have been happy with that.

I just showed up at the Comedy Store. You keep showing up, and you keep showing up, and eventually, somebody notices.

I was just coming out of prison, I was married, and I had a kid, and I didn't know what to do, so I tried stand-up.

I'm a stand-up comic, but I also have ideas, and I want to get them out. People think getting in front of the mic is the only way to work out. You've got to try different situations.

I lived in my car in Hollywood for a year, and then it got towed. My... apartment got towed. How... does that happen?

Hey, I'm not rich, but I'm lucky. I get to do what I want to do. That's not an easy thing to do in this country.

If I see an audition for a show or a movie, I'll send a tape in. I attack it. The whole time, I'm booking comedy, so no matter what, I always got that coming in. I'm always working on my craft.

I love Houston.

I'm Hispanic. I'm a Catholic. I believe in God. I believe in karma.

People die millionaires. All your life, you're gonna stress money?