Iliza Shlesinger

If a guy is just genuine and honest, girls gravitate towards that, and girls love it when you open up.

I have the comedic chops and intelligence to raise points and discuss both sides of whatever is on our mind as a society.

I used to take a recorder around and interview my parents and do impressions of my classmates as guests on my show.

I think that it's an easy thing to say, that whenever women do stand up, that 'Oh, they must hate men' - and I'm like, 'Well, if you listen carefully, it's actually a lovely tutorial that I wouldn't give to men unless I cared.'

It's never occurred to me - and I don't know what right mixture of upbringing this was - that my opinion wasn't as important as the alpha males or that I shouldn't try or that I wasn't the funniest one in the room.

I think we're very quick to rip other women apart when they don't fit our mold, which, quite frankly, is just as bad as a man tearing you down for something, if not worse.

I think a big part of feminism - and this is something I'm sure a bunch of women will take my head off for - but a big part of feminism is women allowing other women to just be the kind of women that they are.

When you travel, try having an open mind, not just about the city that you're in but about the surrounding areas.

Always be nice to the front desk staff because they can choose to make your life a living hell, and they'll remember you.

There should be an F.A.A. fine for those who bring hot food that emits odor onto the plane. You're deemed selfish, and you have to take some sort of social awareness class.

I really respect Samantha Bee.

I really respect my craft and obligation to my audience.

Being sexually harassed is the worst. Sorry. Let me rephrase that. Being sexually harassed by an ugly guy is the worst... If he's hot, it's just plain old flirting.

I'm really good at saying what other people are thinking and making it relatable.

I'm certainly not a supermodel.

I was a huge 'Blind Date' fan, though, when I was younger; that was on when I was in high school.

There's no anger in my act towards anyone other than myself... and maybe airlines.

There's nothing 'flash in the pan' about my career. It's been built fan by fan, city by city.

I was frustrated in general with the way women are always portrayed. And it's always through a man's eyes.

What I have found that my comedy is doing - and what really drives me - is to sort of bring women together through pointing out why we act so crazy.

Unfortunately, we don't live in a society where you can say whatever you want, and there will be no repercussions. Pick and choose your battles. I think that's the key.

The world is a scary place. Even my mother has suggested I take a self defense class.

I think more than anything, as a comedian, I grow tired of the unoriginality of 'crazy cat lady' jokes. It's a hacky joke based on an already-played-out stereotype.

I've been entertaining men with my comedy for many, many years, and I don't plan on stopping.

You can hate me for being a woman, you can hate me for being smart, you can hate me for being funny, but you hate me because I am doing something you could never do. End of story.

Part of being a comic is being flexible, being versatile.

I was a big fan of sketch comedy and cartoons growing up.

The amount of garbage that women are expected to put up with - we're just expected to ignore when a man whistles at us. And it never makes us feel good - it always makes us feel unsafe.

I don't want to hear any more women talk about how they want to be... mermaids.

Sounds are something that I always emulate - I'll walk around, and if a coffee pot goes off or a phone rings, I'll often mimic the sound. To me, everything's got a voice.

I got a job as a coat check girl at a nightclub - this was in my first few months of being in L.A.

I didn't get an agent until after 'Last Comic Standing' - of course, getting on a show like that will get you attention.

I love getting insight into what makes actors tick.

I get my strength from wanting to teach other women that everything about you is OK, and you shouldn't take any crap from anyone.

Whether it be the gym or telling a guy to stop mistreating me or getting through school with a C+ average but making people think I'm much smarter... it's all about strength and how you wear it.

I had a 'Monty Python' CD, and I would listen to it in the car on the way to school. It also refined my British accent. I can do a killer British accent because I'm just imitating 'Monty Python.'

I grew up in a bit of a vacuum. And as a kid, you see 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' and you're like, 'Oh, it's a cartoon.' There's mixed media. It's funny, and there's stop-motion. But as an adult, you figure it out, how the entire underpinnings of their comedy was poking fun at the rank and file of the British aristocracy and the monarchy.

I'm a huge sketch comedy fan, and I think my love of sketch is reflected in my stand-up in that I do a lot of vignettes and voices and characters.

I would tell my 23-year-old self to be friends with more comics.

A lot of comedians are really funny onstage, but they can't do a podcast.

Like any other creative person, I would make home videos, and I would make sketches with my friends, and I would make my own movies, so I have some love for the creative process.

There was a sketch group at Emerson, and if you could believe it, we were the cool kids. That's how Emerson rolls. I was a film major, but I spent most of my time doing that.

I want girls to know that whatever you're feeling, I'm feeling too. All the things that you think make you crazy, it's OK to feel that way, and I'm gonna tell you why we feel that way.

I firmly believe in standing by what you are. I was never taught to dim my light to pacify other people.

I don't write anything. It's all done onstage, which is why I always tell younger comics that they just have to go do it. You have to get up, talk, and take a thought or a word and just expound, and you find it in there. I don't sit down and write.

We're so hard on ourselves, and there's a freedom in realizing that we're our toughest critics.

If you think you're good enough, then you find it preposterous when somebody doesn't acknowledge that... That's propelled me in many ways - maybe thinking I deserve things that I don't at some time. But I'm always willing to put in the work.

When you can analyze situations and figure out what's best for you, based on you and not some preconceived notion of what society expects, then nothing is a threat.

At the end of the day, all there is is making yourself happy.

I'm pale, and people need to accept that I'm almost see-through.