George Gobel

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Did you ever feel as if the whole world was a tuxedo, and you were a pair of brown shoes?

Did you ever get the feeling that the world is a tuxedo and you're a pair of brown shoes?

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice.

When I go to a party, nobody says hello. But when I leave, everybody says goodbye.

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.