E. W. Howe

Half the time men think they are talking business, they are wasting time.

Common sense is compelled to make its way without the enthusiasm of anyone.

Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.

If a man has money, it is usually a sign, too, that he knows how to take care of it; don't imagine his money is easy to get simply because he has plenty of it.

No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves.

There is nothing so well known as that we should not expect something for nothing - but we all do and call it Hope.

The sounder your argument, the more satisfaction you get out of it.

What people say behind your back is your standing in the community.

None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The record does not show that Adam and Eve were ever married.

Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism.

The most destructive criticism is indifference.

Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.

Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on.

When men are not regretting that life is so short, they are doing something to kill time.

The average man's judgment is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.

The modest person is usually admired, if people ever hear of them.

Farmers only worry during the growing season, but townspeople worry all the time.

Every successful person I have heard of has done the best he could with the conditions as he found them, and not waited until next year for better.

A modest man is usually admired, if people ever hear of him.

Everyone suffers wrongs for which there is no remedy.

Many people would be more truthful were it not for their uncontrollable desire to talk.

All of the troubles that some people have in life is that which they married into.

Virtue must be valuable, if men and women of all degrees pretend to have it.

People are always neglecting something they can do in trying to do something they can't do.

Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.

For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.

Fishing seems to be the favorite form of loafing.

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.

There is only one thing people like that is good for them; a good night's sleep.

A woman who can't forgive should never have more than a nodding acquaintance with a man.

The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world.

The greatest humiliation in life, is to work hard on something from which you expect great appreciation, and then fail to get it.

If your faith is opposed to experience, to human learning and investigation, it is not worth the breath used in giving it expression.

If a woman doesn't chase a man a little, she doesn't love him.

A thief believes everybody steals.

If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.

The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.

A man will do more for his stubbornness than for his religion or his country.

When a man has no reason to trust himself, he trusts in luck.

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

You needn't love your enemy, but if you refrain from telling lies about him, you are doing well enough.

When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.

A young man is a theory, an old man is a fact.

One of the surprising things in this world is the respect a worthless man has for himself.

The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in.

No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.

When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine that he is polite all the time.

The underdog often starts the fight, and occasionally the upper dog deserves to win.

The worst feeling in the world is the homesickness that comes over a man occasionally when he is at home.

A theory is no more like a fact than a photograph is like a person.